1. |
Born Before Invention
05:32
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My dark night of the soul
Is constant, and I am open,
Bared to the unavoidable -
You were never there to abscond
And leave me alone.
Deus, dias, we stood together
In meaningless opposition.
I am no lamb or goat,
Your flock has wandered on
Without me.
In painless isolation
I face the waves without you
My feet sinking into sand, that,
Born before invention,
Predates us all.
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2. |
My Mirror
08:07
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The year empties out
And I pour my heart there
Spent love ebbing away
Across this rocky beach.
As fear sweeps it clean,
Illuminating the new.
My mirror, my gentle reflection.
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3. |
Optical Memory
06:28
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In wishing to hold
What isn't there,
Grain dissolves and all
Image breaks down.
All that remains
Is optical memory -
Fleeting, light soaked
And wholly unreal.
I witness your movement
From nothing to everything,
Surface broken – light
From the water
Now clean, your clothes
Trailing weeds
That score the wet soil
Like patterns in silt
To read as I follow
You home.
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4. |
Song of Loss
05:41
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The song of loss
Is written, shaped slowly as
Feelings for something lost
Become uncertain, unresolved.
At the narrow end of the night,
I sing to you in whispers
Lest the turn and roll of dreams
Become interdependent with sorrow.
These songs, at the borders of sound,
Tuck the covers around you, and
Keep you safe. While dawn pours in,
I protect you from the light.
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5. |
Stained and Unregarded
05:21
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In the air's long yards,
Trailing leaves, weeds
Stretching up to meet
Hands that stroke what's left,
Stained and unregarded.
In the darkening water,
Beyond the ordeal of the world,
Stay behind – rest in
The empty, open expanses.
Decant all the angry
Disappointments of our lives,
And wait.
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6. |
The Tears of Things
07:00
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To all things that suffer
I am grief, enfolding
Your hanging head, kissing
Your white hands
To taste the tears of things.
And all things that cry
Or wither and dry up
I hold you, and suffer
To pacify consequence.
As they lead you away
To fearful stalls, gated
Encircled, I wish for
Your place. And all others
That suffer
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7. |
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I can hear my blood speak
Through habit and history,
Yet as much as I try
To separate strands,
The noose of my fear
Tightens around me.
Will you teach me to fear
The grave, as little as my bed?
Teach me to die denying
A fear of the dark?
Relieve me of my capacity
To wish things other than they are.
I see truth clearly,
But I still turn away.
Take solace in comforts
Illusory as dust
Before the wind.
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8. |
What Remains
05:28
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What remains is all
I can leave you, I
Lie face down and stare
Into the Earth,
As though a window opens
And my atoms fall through.
I can feel rot
Begin and advance,
Your landscape that I
Tried to explain,
Now pulls and enfolds me.
The black water – my blood
The rocks – my bones,
My latency is fed back
Into the soil
But no soul escapes me.
We were all wrong,
But I leave what remains,
To you.
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9. |
The Willow
07:16
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Was I missing?
How long was I gone?
Did they notice as I moved back in?
I glimpsed myself in isolation -
Waiting for my parents
Like it was childhood again.
The willow you brought down
In the garden as I watched,
Pulled the roots away from our home
Safe but seen. Now I want to hide away
in open crowds, be unseen as I’m seen,
and get back behind the branches.
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Dispersed Ashes Gothenburg, Sweden
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